Outer Reaches of the Palindrome Page: 3
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"You can say, 'penis sin,' but then there's the E-P left over," I added, writing the letters
on a piece of paper.
"Or you can say 'inept penis,' but then you gotta add an 's' to the beginning to balance it
out, right?"
"I think so," I said, adding an "s" to the deficient side for balance. "Now we need
something that ends in 's' - like a verb or something, because the inept penis has to come after
the word we need." By this time, both of us were writing feverishly, trying to sort out the words
we had so far into something complete, something satisfying.
"We could use 'is', you know, 'is inept penis I'," Spectre said.
"I don't know, that sounds kinda ..."
"No, 'has.' 'Has inept penis A-H.' What words begin with 'a-h'? 'Ahead'? No. 'Ahem'?
Not really."
"And who or what has inept penis? We can always figure in a name like 'Bob'. We can
put it in, but it has to be on both sides," I said. "Like, 'Bob's inept penis Bob,' but that's kinda
lame."
"Wait," said Spectre. "Ah, Bob."
"Ah, Bob?"
"Ah, Bob," he said. "Bob has inept penis. Ah, Bob."
"Bob has inept penis; ah, Bob?!"
"Bob has inept penis. Ah, Bob," we yelled in unison, drawing a few confused looks from
some customers. Our pupils were dilated and we were baring our teeth. Who is Bob? How is the
sufficiency or ineptness of his penis relevant? Who's the speaker? What's his or her association
with Bob? Is there a listener? What the Hell could "Ah, Bob" possibly mean? Once we began
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McConnell, Michael Constantine. Outer Reaches of the Palindrome, thesis, December 2003; Denton, Texas. (https://digital.library.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metadc4407/m1/6/: accessed May 22, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, UNT Digital Library, https://digital.library.unt.edu; .